Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
