I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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