ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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