Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize