I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
