I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Randomize
