He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
