i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
