Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
