so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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