Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize