so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
