I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
