2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Sext me about skeletons
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
