I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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