About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
