sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
