she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
