I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
