yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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