I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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