Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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