Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize