but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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