and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
where am i from again
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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