I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
