We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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