I showed him my bush... on skype.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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