I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
