Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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