Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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