He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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