Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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