We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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