And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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