I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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