Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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