I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize