"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
