Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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