I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
