all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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