i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
