I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
