He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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