Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
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