Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
