take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
