Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
