We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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