I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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