i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
