Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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