Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
