I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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