I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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