3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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