I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize