Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
