maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Acid is not a monday night drug
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
