You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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