Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
