Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
