ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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