Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
