Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
