apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize