What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
