"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
