Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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