Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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