She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
