he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
