I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
